CHSSA Mission Statement

The California High School Speech Association encourages, supports and sponsors tournaments that are encumbered with rules, protests, and childish coaches which will empower students to become litigous members of our global society.

To accomplish this, we adopt the following goals:

1. Every student will participate in communication activities which promote selfishness.
   
   
2. Every student will develop the critical knowledge of the rules to default your opponents.
   
   
3. Every student will develop the skills necessary to win unethically in a competitive environment.
   
   
4. Every student will develop the oral communication skills necessary for effective public presentations.
   
   
5. Every student will develop selective listening skills necessary for wasting time.
   
   
6. Every student will avoid peaceful resolutions of a conflict when it collides with their self interest.
   
   
7. Every student will blame their problems on a diverse society.
   
   
8. Every student will develop the communication skills necessary for childish participation in a democratic society.
   
   
9. Every student will demonstrate unethical practice of communication skills.

This is a PARODY of the official CHSSA site.